Coming unglued at the seams (NaNo day 10)

I didn't write at all today but my word count is over 23k.

Not bad so far. Not bad at all.

I'm coming apart at the seams due to lack of proper glue. Anybody care?

If they could love like you and me...

If Everyone cared
by Nickleback

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you’d be mine
But here we are, we’re here tonight

Singing Amen, I’m alive
Singing Amen, I’m alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died
And I’m singing

Amen I, I’m alive
Amen I, I’m alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We’ll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen I’m alive
Singing Amen I’m alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died

We’d see the day, we’d see the day
When nobody died
We’d see the day, we’d see the day
When nobody died
We’d see the day when nobody died

Today's NaNo Snippet:

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring out the wall of windows at the city below. Feeling the restless energy of the teeming life as it oozed up and into him. I could see the street below, splattered with a shiny coating of rainwater, glistening in the light of passing cars. Their neighborhood wasn’t especially busy for street traffic but it did get enough. It was the foot traffic, even at this hour I could see the tiny bobbing umbrellas that hurried down the road towards their destinations. Home to bed where it was warm.
It was the one figure without an umbrella that held my attention. The lone tiny person who huddled under an awning that in the light of day housed a cart of fruit, sold by the market behind the window. The person stepped out from the awning periodically and glanced up, then stepped back under it, holding the hood of her jacket over her head. It was a small person. A nervous person. I could feel that from here, seeing how her body continually shifted with indescision. I watched her silently, my body stiff and poised in my own internal war. I wanted to go down there and bring her up to him. I had wanted to find her for three weeks now. Where had she been?
She moved out onto the street and I watched the line of her movement as she crossed the road and disappeared inside the door of his building. Ten minutes later, ten long painful minutes the buzzer rang.
I stood slowly and walked across the room an stared at the box a moment before hitting the button.
"Molly?" My voice came out curter than he wanted it to and he winced. Scaring her off now would be detremental as I’d likely never get her back.
She hesitated in responding, hearing my tone. "Will? It’s me." Her voice sounded so fragile and I closed my eyes and pressed my head to the wall. My heart beating in the middle of throat so that when I hit the button again, my voice came out hoarsely.
"Come on up Molly."
She let go of the button and I pressed the button to let her into the door, I then unlocked the door and propped it open an inch and went to sit on the couch. My hands were shaking. Outside the rain got worse and turned to sleet.
She was, of course, soaked when she arrived up stairs. I didn’t say a word, just lifted off the couch and went back to gather up towels for her, a change of dry clothes, warm flannel bottoms and a thermal top and handed them to her. When I stepped closer she pushed the hood of her jacket off her head.
Both of her eyes were blackened and her lip swollen. There was a gash that was healing up near her temple. I flinched and stopped where I was, studying her with horror. She lifted her eyes up to my and I winced at the sight, my heart dropping somewhere down into my stomach. I reached to touch her cheek. "Jesus Molly.." I whispered softly and slid my hand back around her neck and pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her and hold her slender frame against my body. I could feel her trembles as she leaned into me, and I closed my eyes, feeling the lurch of my stomach again. "Jesus.." I repeated softly and she said nothing in response.
I lifted her up in one motion, holding her tightly against me and carried her back to the room that had become hers. Her head went to my shoulder and I could feel her weariness. Setting her on the bed, I started to pull her jacket from her and she let me without protest, her eyes fell to the side silently. I felt a strange mixture of rage and love that warred as I gingerly set the soaked jacket to the side, then started on her sweater, her tank tops, pulling one after another off of her. She didn’t do a think to stop me. She didn’t say a word and didn’t look at me. At the last tank top I stopped and stood back to look at her again. Her arms had hand prints on them, both of them. Dark bruises that clearly marked where she’d been grabbed and it looked like tossed. Her right elbow had a cut and a dark black bruise and there was another on her shoulder near her neck. I cringed and moved behind her to look at what I could see of her back.
It was covered with welts. Angry red lines, some crusted still with blood that peeked out from the white material of her thin top. Without asking I slowly grabbed the bottom of the cloth and drew it upwards. Those welts covered the entire expanse of her pale, delicate back. Some of them were weeping a bit of blood onto the material. I squeezed his eyes closed, feeling my jaw clenching in rage as I lowered the tank top again, then settled onto the bed behind her. Lifting the towel, I began to slowly dry her hair, rubbing gently. She winced and hissed once or twice so I kept the pressure of his hands gentle. She didn’t move. She didn’t pull away.
"Who did this to you Molly?" I asked softly as he worked the towel over her damp curls. She shook her head ‘no’ and said nothing.
"Are you hurt anywhere else?" I continued to gently probe, touching her shoulder. She pulled away from me and it felt something like being hit in the gut. But I understood. Damn it, I understood. "Molly?"
"I don’t know." she whispered and I watched as her bruised shoulders slumped forward more. My angel started to cry, dry sobs that racked her slender underfed body. I kept his hand on her shoulder, feeling the heaving of her tiny body, then slowly wrapped my arms around her from behind, pulling her back to him. I wanted to take the pain away from her, absorb it into myself. But, there was nothing I could do or say to ease it from her. Nothing.
"Come, let’s take you to the hospital." I said finally and quietly, handing her the warm thermal top and bottoms so she could change herself. "I’ll call Gillian."
She didn’t protest but slid the top on over the tank top and slid out of her skirts to pull the PJ bottoms on over her leggings, leaving her feet bare after kicking off her boots. I handed her slippers to her. She looked up a moment then slid them onto her feet. I moved about the room and gathered up a few things, another change of clothes, some of the personal toiletries I’d purchased for her to keep here,
She pulled on one of my zip front hoodies on over the thermal and I handed her a third, much larger for her to wrap around herself. I didn’t have another coat to offer so I pulled the blanket from the bed, the soft chenille of a pale lavender color, and wrapped it around her shoulders. I lifted her to carry her out to the couch and she didn’t stop me. Setting her down gingerly, I reached for the phone and hit the first number I had on speed dial.
A sleepy, irritate voice answered. "Gillian?" I said softly into the reciever.
"Will?" I could hear her sitting up, hear the rustle of the bedding as she shifted and hear her groan with the motion. "What’s the matter Will?" her voice had changed to that of alarm. I did my best to keep my own even.
I failed.
"I need you to come here Gillian. It’s...." I stopped and looked at Molly sitting on my couch, her head bent forward, the long strands of her hair hanging down around her face. She looked absolutely broken and I suddenly wanted to hit something. Someone, anything. That anger translated into my words. "It’s Molly."
"Oh dear God." I could hear Gillian’s voice as it trembled. "We’ll be right there." She hung up and so did I. Then walked slowly back over to the couch, not wanting to frighten the wounded creature there.
"Gillian’s on her way over, Molly love, we’re going to take you to the hospital and get you checked out. Is that alright?" I asked, I reached to touch her back but pulled my hand away, remembering the angry wounds there. Instead I carefully touched her hair, pressing my hand to the back of her neck gently. "We’ll be right with you the whole time."
She did not look up, but continued to stare at the floor. She did nod. Once. "Good girl." I whispered and kept my hand on her, wanting to give her any comfort I could. We waited in silence on the couch until I heard the frantic insistant buzzing of Gillian. I didn’t answer just hit the button to let her in, going back to sit protectively next to my angel.
Gillian didn’t come up alone. She brought Lucas with her. They both looked rumpled, Lucas’s hair uncombed and his eyes bleary. Gillian’s clothes were not neatly pressed, and the shirt she had on wasn’t hers, it was his. I looked them over but didn’t say a word. Gillian rushed forward to crouch in front of Molly, lifting her chin and tipping her head to look.
"I’ll kill him." were the first words out of her mouth. "I’ll fucking kill him!" she was on her feet quickly. Luckily Lucas wrapped his arms around her or else she may have very well gone and shot the first person she felt was responsible. On the couch Molly sat quietly, it was almost catatonic and it was terrifying me.
"We need to take her to the hospital Gillian." I said softly, rubbing gently with my fingers over Molly’s hair. "We can sort out what happened later."
Lucas didn’t say a word, but turned to leave the apartment. I watched him quietly and Gillian turned to watch as well, then turned back to me. "Went to get a cab." she said quietly, stepping back to kneel in front of Molly. "Angel? You want us to take you to get looked at?" She put her hands on Molly’s shoulders and Molly flinched in pain. Gillian moved her hands down to her arms, bending so that she met Molly’s eyes, which didn’t meet hers in return. "Angel?"
Molly nodded, tears beginning to slip down her cheeks again. I watched as a fat one slid off her nose and looked up to Gillian helplessly. She looked as lost as I did. Downstairs Lucas hit the buzzer once. He’d managed to get a cab at this hour in less than two minutes. I gently scooped Molly up and pulled the blanket around her more tightly. Gillian grabbed the bag I had packed and together the three of us left my apartment and made it down stairs.
It wasn’t a cab Lucas had acquired. It was a squad car. Lights off, sitting ominously outside of my apartment building. Gillian lifted an eyebrow and said nothing, Neither did Lucas as he held open the door for me to set Molly inside. Only Molly seemed to panic. "No!" she said against my neck, her whole body stiffening as I tried to put her inside. "No Will..please!" Her voice high pitched and squeaky.
"Shhh, love. It’s going to take us to the hospital. It’s alright, I promise. Gillian and I are going with you." I looked helpless at Lucas who reached and touched Molly’s cheek gently.
"I promise girl. We’re going to those hospital to get you looked at. Nothing else." he said quietly and she looked at him through swollen eyes. "You have my word." Lucas added. She relaxed enough that we could climb into the car. I kept her on my lap and looked at the driver of the squad car, a man in his fifties with thinning grey air and watery blue eyes.
"This is Officer Dan Nolan." Lucas said, looking back through the cage at us as he slid into the passenger seat. Gillian went around to slide into the other side of the back. "Dan, this is William and Molly. Very good friends of mine." Dan nodded silently, looking at us in the rearview mirror. Molly didn’t look at him, but buried her face against my neck. I held her tighter. "We need to go to the hospital Dan." Lucas said with a glance over to Gillian.

The Soundtrack of Molly and Will

My NaNo Soundtrack, a Diary of the Angst that fuels the love of Molly and Will:

• "Broken" by Seether and Amy Lee
• "Spun Sugar" by Beth Waters
• "Trouble" by Coldplay
• "You're Beautiful" James Blunt
• "Glycerine" by Bush
• "Learn to Cry" Michelle Malone
• "Dilate" by Ani DiFranco
• "Weapon" Matthew Goodband
• "Settling" Tara MacLean
• "I will love you" Fisher
• "Listen to your Heart" DHT
• "Beautiful" by Lifehouse
• "All that I am" Rob Thomas
• 'Not Sorry" the Cranberries
• "Somewhere only we know" by Keane
• "Far Away" by Nickleback
• "Chasing cars" by Snow Patrol
• "Try me" by Los Lobos
• "Breath(2am)" By Anna Nalick
• "I will love you" Fisher
• "Hiding underwater" Beth Hart
• "Heaven" Bryan Adams
• "Anywhere" Evanessence
• "The Scientist" by Coldplay
• "Don't Forget Me" Way out West
• "Stupid" By Sarah MacLachlan

NaNoWriMo Update (20,116/50,000) Day 7

I discovered word wars with fellow MSNers..

And I discovered I kick ass! I beat them in every war by about 200 words. Go me! (hey..it was a good day, I can brag!)

Here's a wee snippet:

"I’ll bet you have." She muttered but was slipping from her seat, her hand coming to grasp mine and pull me with her. "Come, dance with me." she said and pulled her jacket off. I glanced at Lucas and Gillian and shrugged, tugging my own coat off as well.
"I guess we’ll be dancing." I said as Molly started to tug me away. "See you in a little bit." I called back over my shoulder and followed her onto the dance floor. It was as crowded as the rest of the place and she leaned into me as I rested my hands on her hips and let her start the rhythm. She was as good a dancer as she was at the violin. As she was at anything she set her mind to really. My hands on her waist and hips and her body rocking rhythmically close to mine has a way of making it hard to think. I closed my eyes and just felt her closeness, the scent of her hair as she leaned in closer to me. The feel of her hands on my arms, my shoulder. She was a foot shorter than me and her head came just under my chin. The heat of her as she danced making her scent rise up coyly to my nose.
It was the sweetest agony I’d felt in a long time. Like a pleasant torment. I kept my eyes closed. I could tell she was upset but I didn’t ask why. I just let her dance, kept her near. Held her. She was mine in this moment.
I wanted her to be mine for always. This was becoming painfully obvious. When the song ended she pulled away and looked up at me, her face red with the exertion of the dance, her eyes sparkling and haunted at the same time. "Thanks" she whispered and I nodded.
"Dance again?" I asked her and she said yes.
The music started again and I pulled he back to me, and went back to that place where she belonged to me and only to me.
When the next song ended we danced to four more. Finally she pulled away laughing and wiping sweat off her brow. "I need a drink." She grinned and I nodded. "Then shall we go to the bar?" I asked and she didn’t answer, just pulled me over.
"Rum and coke, light on the rum?" she ordered and turned to me.
"The same but make mine heavier on the rum." The bartender nodded and went to fix our drinks and Molly leaned back against the bar, arching back as she let her breathing slow.
"That was fun!" she exclaimed and I grinned and leaned down to press my lips to her temple. I could feel the rapid beat of her heart against my lips, her pulse and I pulled back agian.
"It was. You can dance girl!"
"Yeah, so can you!" she winked and took a deep drink of the beverage that was handed to her. "I don’t get to dance much."

NaNoWriMo day #7 16,789/50,000

A love song for my characters....

I wish my love was a red, red rose growing in yon garden fair
And I to be the gardener, of her I would take care
There's not a month throughout the year, but my love I'd renew
I'd garnish her with flowers fine, sweet William, Thyme and Rue

I wish I was a butterfly, I'd light on my love's breast
And if I was a blue cuckoo, I'd sing my love to rest
And if I was a nightingale, I'd sing the daylight clear
I'd sit and sing with you, Molly, for once I loved you dear

I wish I was in Dublin town and seated on the grass
In my right hand, a jug of punch, and on my knee, a lass
I'd call for liquor freely and I'd pay before I'd go
I'd roll my Molly in my arms, let the wind blow high or low

What's a blog without a little blogging?

A blank canvas. The whole idea of the blog is to broadcast your private thoughts to the world is it not?

It's coming on winter here, Samhain has passed and we've entered the time of the sleeping sun. This is my Girlfriends favorite time of year, and mine as well. I love the months of sept-nov when the air gets cold and fresh and the leaves fall. I think fall is my favorite season by far, followed closely by winter and snow. (So long as I don't have to drive in it. Anybody else miss horse drawn carriages?) I love pumpkins and the warmth of soup in the evening, warm bread and I miss fires.

This is when I hate this urban existance I find myself in and wish for a more rural setting. Where fires at night replace the TV and warm blankets and books and snuggles...popcorn and ghost stories.

I guess I feel reminiscent today. Of a time past, and another life. I miss them both.

And here's something lovely to moon over for fall...

Mucking about in Photoshop

Oh the lovely Monica Bellucci....





These are avies made for a game, please don't touch them. They are not for use by the general populace but I wanted to show off some blending!

NaNoWriMo Day#2 (13,035/50,000)

I wrote nearly 7,000 words today, so it wasn't a bad day! The story is unfolding beautifully! It has a mind of it's own. Which, is good, considering it's an accumulation of all my wild "Damsel in distress/come rescue me" fantasies!

Snippet:

"I see." I said softly and almost told them that I’d been to all those places, some of them many times over. Almost. "Lovely choices all of them. But I wanted to come here for a bit of art and culture. You know, see the neon lights of broadway?"
"Have you seen them?" Molly asked with a giggle.
"Well, no actually. Not yet."
"Oh, well you should! But shows are expensive...." her voice trailed off and Gillian shook her head.
"You’ve never been to one Molly."
"No, I haven’t" She agreed and sighed softly. "They are expensive." her voice dropped again and I watched them both with interest.
"Never?" I asked gently and she shook her head ‘no.’ "Off Broadway?"
"No."
"Well we’ll do that." I said with finality and finished my glass of wine, which was quickly refilled by Gillian. "Pick a show and we’ll go."
"Ha. Likely not but thank you for the offer." She replied, her voice holding a bit of a bitter edge to it which caught me off guard.
"Why do you say that lass?" I asked setting the wine back down and reaching to touch her hand. She pulled it away quickly and clutched it with her other hand. Gillian even seemed concerned by her sudden defensiveness.
"Molly?" she asked softly and reached for those hands, grasping the both tightly. "Molly look at me..." her voice changed to hold a firm yet tender note to it and I blinked. "Molly.." she repeated and ducked her head to catch Molly’s eyes. "Did you bring them?" she asked more quietly and Molly jerked her hands away and uttered a nasty word. "Molly..." Gillian said again then sighed and reached into her jacket pocket, pulling out a little brown pharmacy bottle of pills. "Take two." she said handing two blue pills over to the now trembling red head.

A place of creation

Since the..ahem..demise of my last blog (Evil damn hackers!!) I've decided not to let me get it down, but to begin again and fresh. So here it is. My new blog, dedicated to Knitting, crafting, writing and the art of Photoshop. Or any other artistic pursuits I feel inclined towards!